“You don’t need to tell everything you know.”
I’d be talking away telling a story about something,
Mom would cough and I’d stop my story.
That cough could even censor dad in the middle of a sermon.
Maybe that’s why I started writing
so mom couldn’t hear me and cough.
Now I want to tell everything I know.
I’ll not be censored.
It’s about honesty, authenticity I think.
Wanting to be known really.
All my thoughts, what I’ve done,
where I’ve been, what I’ve seen.
Wanting someone to care enough
to know who I really am.
But they cough, frown
and the real me retreats behind silence again.
to have told something
I wasn’t supposed to.
Who makes these rules anyway.
Mom never talks about her childhood.
Who she was, what she felt.
Why were feelings so dangerous
why is it wrong to express what one feels.
Where did that come from.
So I’m the little girl still, telling all I know.
Got a tickle in your throat now mom?
© Sharron R. McMillan