1949
“You don’t need to tell everything you know.”
I’d be talking away telling a story about something,
Mom would cough and I’d stop my story.
That cough could even censor dad in the middle of a sermon.
Maybe that’s why I started writing
so mom couldn’t hear me and cough.
Now I want to tell everything I know.
I’ll not be censored.
It’s about honesty, authenticity I think.
Wanting to be known really.
All my thoughts, what I’ve done,
where I’ve been, what I’ve seen.
Wanting someone to care enough
to know who I really am.
But they cough, frown
and the real me retreats behind silence again.
Embarrassed
to have told something
I wasn’t supposed to.
Who makes these rules anyway.
Mom never talks about her childhood.
Who she was, what she felt.
Why were feelings so dangerous
I wonder;
why is it wrong to express what one feels.
Where did that come from.
So I’m the little girl still, telling all I know.
Got a tickle in your throat now mom?
© Sharron R. McMillan
hernibs 
Mother censorship, eh. 😉
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Well said Sharron! I so relate to this too!
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Thank you for responding to my piece. I was afraid all I’d hear was a cough. Again. 😉 I’m going to spend some time on your site, I’m sure. Looks like we have a lot more in common. We too live on our happenstance homestead. Take a look if you’d like to. No coughing allowed. 😉 http://www.hardtocomeby.com
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How funny that I should read this immediately after having a conversation about my decision to no longer engage with people that are not able to actually listen to what I’m saying. I, too, was one of those people that would tell it all (“stop rambling on and just say it!” resonated through my childhood). I reckon we should tell it like it is, but only to those who will value it. For the rest of them, I’ll just smile and say “hi” as I’m passing. 🙂 Love the way you expressed this!
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